


Prayers for Niall

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christianity, Coming Out, Denial, Depression, F/M, M/M, Prayer for bobby, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-17 17:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3538595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall was gay, he knew it and he hated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is based off a movie called Prayers For Bobby which is about a Christian family and their gay son/brother. Understand while reading this I'm not generalizing all Christians, only some.

There once was a boy named Niall and every night Niall would pray to God for redemption and happiness. For Niall was not happy, all his life he had been different. He never played sports like his older brother or was as musically gifted as his younger sister. The only thing he had in common with all was his love for God and even his love for God was a little questionable yet nonetheless he'd pray for redemption and happiness every night.

His mother's name was Judith and she was an avid Christian. She loved God, loved that her husband loved God and loved that her children loved God. She was very close-minded to those of unethical practices, at least unethical practices based on her beliefs. She hated the criminals, the fornicators and the flaming homosexuals, most of all, she hated those who did not love God. 

His father was a Christian also, a Christian in practice. Cameron was not born into the religion like Judith was, but was married into it for he loved Judith and Judith needed him to be a Christian. And to him, being a Christian was hard work. Acting like one of Jesus's disciples in the bible and keeping the faith when times were tough was a new attribute he had to learn fast and struggled with everyday. 

Leo was Cameron's favourite and Niall's older brother. He was their dream child for as soon as he started walking he was able to block a football expertly and as soon as he started talking he could recite scriptures from the bible. Leo, now at uni was the starting fullback for his team and they couldn't be more proud. 

Delilah was Niall's younger sister, she was smart, kind and very talented in music. She played the flute and the piano. Delilah was also involved in anything, from drama to band to gospel choir to Latin club. Not only that she had straight A's and was an ardent follower of her Saviour Jesus Christ but unlike her mum, was opened to new ideas.

Niall was Judith's favourite, even though she always said she loved her children equally, they knew it was true. After every Sunday service Niall and his mum would discuss strong points of the sermon and what the pastor could've done better and every Saturday before Niall would help her with the grocery shopping and she would help him with homework or driving. Nail tried to get good grades but school was never something Niall was good at. The only good thing Niall believed about himself was that he was a good Christian and a good guitar player, at least that what's everyone said, especially his mum and Niall was afraid of to disappoint his mum. Even though he already knew he was disappointing her because he was gay.

So every night he'd pray for redemption and happiness. Redemption from his deepest desires and happiness because he was not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was only to get a feel of the characters and where they stand as members of the household. The next chapter will be more exciting.


	2. Chapter 2

Niall followed behind his family as they walked into their petite home after another supposedly enlightening service led by Pastor Hughes about the immoral human beings of the world that roamed in packs like wild animals, and by that he meant the gays and fornicators going to clubs late at night. The service was of course in protest of the new gay club that had finally opened in town, not that it really matter what the church thought, no right gay would ever be found there. Except Niall and half the time through the service he was dozing off but each time they'd say the word gay he'd awaken, listen for them to shame him, then continued to doze off. 

"Niall?" Judith asked, breaking him out of his train of thought. 

Niall loved his mum, but he hated her beliefs, yet she assumed he was just the same as her. "Yeah mum," Niall responded with a hint of distaste in his mouth, hoping she'd get a clue that he didn't want to talk. Of course Niall knew what was coming, she always started their traditional conversation like this and to be honest Niall was hoping their tradition would stop, especially today when he wasn't paying attention to the complete service. 

She obviously didn't get the clue and instead beckoned for Niall to come forward and to sit on the stool at the counter. Niall listened to her reluctantly, sitting on the stool, and tried mentally to prepare himself for any homosexual slurs that were about to escape her mouth. She sat down as well, resting her hands upon the counters, "how was the service?" 

Niall scrambled his thoughts, trying to come up with something that would please his mother. "I thought it was very enlightening." A bead of sweat slowly dribbled down his forehead as he waited for his mother's answer. 

"I agree Niall. Pastor Hughes sermon was exactly what everyone's viewpoint on faggots should be, except if everyone's viewpoints on faggots were the same, there wouldn't be any cockknockers in the world." She laughed loudly, slapping Niall's back. Niall chuckled slightly despite his breaking heart. "Or any whores," she continued to laugh. "You want to help me make dinner?" 

"I would love to but I'm going out tonight and need to finish my homework before I do." Niall replied. 

"With who?" She asked cheekily. 

Niall laughed at her, "with Molly." 

"Molly, as in Molly Glenn?" She asked as if it was the most shocking thing and Niall didn't hang out with Molly almost every Sunday. 

"Yeah mum, as in Molly Glenn." Niall answered. 

"No sex, okay!" She warned. 

"You don't need to worry about that mum." Niall responded, running up the stairs to avoid any other conversation his mum would like to have. His mum had no boundaries, there was no doubt about that. She'd openly talk about her sex life with her children in a grocery store. It was one thing knowing your parents have sex in the room next to you, it was another knowing what toys they used and what their favourite lube was. Niall shudder just thinking about it. 

He was glad to finally be getting out of the house, there wasn't a lot of homework this weekend so he could stay out as long as he wanted and do whatever he wanted, or almost whatever he wanted. 

He slipped on his dark blue Chuck Taylor's, rolled up the pant legs to his skinny, black jeans, added a huge, dark, leopard print button up and his gold bomber jacket. He fixed his hair in his original quiff.

"Niall! Molly's here!" Judith shouted. 

"Fuck," he cursed, grabbed his wallet and ran downstairs. "Hi Molly! Ready to go," Niall asked. 

Molly turned to him in relief, nodding to him. "Goodbye Ms. Horan." 

Judith smiled at her with delight, "you guys enjoy your night. Don't do anything too crazy!" 

"I can assure you, we won't mum." Niall concluded, closing the door behind him.

"Thank God you came when you did, I think she was about to ask me if I was still a virgin." 

Niall laughed, knowing that that is a question his mum would ask anyone. "And are you still a virgin?" 

"Not really," she laughed, cradling his arm. "So where are we going?" 

"I don't know, what do you have in mind?" Niall asked. 

"Let's check out the new gay club." 

Niall halted, nervous that she'd found out his secret, "why?" 

"I don't know, we're stupid, crazy and young! Let's do it!" She shouted. 

"But it's a gay club." Niall protested, not wanting to go. 

"An all ages gay club. Which means booze, no restrictions!" She exclaimed. 

Niall contemplated, he could control himself so he gave in.

They arrived at the club, and despite the fact it was only 9 o'clock, the club was already in full swing. "Pastor Hughes was right, gays do travel in mobs." Molly shouted as she watched another group walk into the club. But how else would they travel if the knew a huge population of world was out to get them but instead of arguing with her he just nodded and agreed. " C'mon, walk me to the bar." Niall walked her to the bar like a loyal puppy, "Do you think I could get an Adios Motherfuckers and a Sex on the Beach?" 

"Sure I can, but only if you think I could get I.D?" He chuckled as he watched her face dropped. 

"You know what---" Niall cut her off before she could embrass herself even more. 

"What about me?" he batted his eyelash and leaned over to him, stroking his arm up and down. "Do you think you could get me an Adios Motherfucker and a Virgin Sex on the Beach in exchange for my number." He leaned closer into him, " by the way, I give a killer blow job." 

"Okay, just one for y'all." He answered, giving in. 

Niall giggled in glee once they were giv their drinks, "thank you my kind sir." 

"I believe you owe me something in return." He replied gravely.

"Oh yeah! My number is 555-4321." The bartender nodded at him, pleased while Molly looked at him astonished, "what?" 

"You're straight!" She mouthed. 

Niall rolled his eyes at her idiocy, "but this is a gay club. I have the upper hand here because I was born with a dick, besides, I did it for you." He tried to reason, "on top of that. I didn't give him my real number." 

"Okay." She answered. 

Niall watched over her, "c'mon. Let's dance!" 

"But our drinks!" She protested. 

"Chug it and lets go!" He yelled at her, giddy with excitement. She chugged the drink and let herself be dragged onto the dance floor. They danced together like they were in their living rooms, and nobody was there to watching them. They didn't have a care in the world and for the first time in a while, Niall felt free. 

"Niall, c'mon. I'm tied, let's sit." Molly pleaded after the fifth song, he let her drag him to his seat at the bar. 

"Can I get a two waters?" Niall asked, he knew he had to sober Molly up sometime soon because he had to go home. 

"But what if I don't want water!" Molly protested. 

"You need to sober up." He answered bluntly. 

"I'm not drunk." She continued to push. 

"I don't have time for this, fucking shut up and drink the water so we can go home." Niall answered, pissed off at her. 

"Whoa, what's got your panties in a twist?" She asked, he glared at her in responds. "Fine! I'll drink the water like you fucking want me to." 

"Thank you." Niall breathed out, drinking his water too because he was out of breath as fuck which he realised tended to happen since he didn't exercise. 

He watched Molly as she drank her water and he just couldn't see himself having a life with her like everyone assumed he would. They were just friends, strictly friends, and that's all they'd ever be. He couldn't live a lie, he couldn't live his life as a heterosexual become that wasn't who he was. He silently cursed at Molly for making him come here and realise this about himself. He knew he'd never go to a gay bar again and he knew he'd never find true love. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave kudos s'il vu plait!


End file.
